Malibu Barbie & I head for Kansas
My favorite sister Malibu Barbie and I were sitting in the airport bar waiting for our plane. Of course I ask the guy sitting next to us if he would care to buy a couple of lovely ladies a drink. He laughs. Not quite the response I was looking for so we proceeded to buy each other a drink. I suggested to my sister that she may want to tone up a bit and lose the rock on her hand if she expects to get drinks bought for us in the future. As we were leaving the guy behind us offered to buy us a drink. Standard response: "where the hell were you when we were spending our hard-earned money? We have to catch a plane now thanks for nothing".
I decided to go on the "low carb" diet while visiting a decision which would come to be very beneficial to the size of my ass.
As we were going through security, I happened to recognized one of my old roommates from when I was around 18-19 so I've known her a long time. I asked her about her dog. (her dog was an alcoholic last I heard as was she,hardcore). She said he died of cirrhosis of the liver. We laughed, not because of the dead dog but how she said the dog died.
On the first leg of the trip I was seated next to a man who liked to chat so I proceeded to tell my stories. My sister has heard all of them several times thus are very boring to her so she tuned me out as best she could and read a book on bear attacks.
Stories I tell people trapped in a plane next to me:
The first leg went by very fast. The second leg of the trip I was seated next to a lady in her late 50's. We slept most of the way but when we started talking I found her quite interesting. As a matter of fact, she whispered in my ear that she had a "fuck buddy". Not something you normally hear. She was single. Liked to travel. Had a good life. Atta girl. We men bashed for the rest of the trip. The man on the other side of her was listening in on our conversation, you could feel him slink into his seat.