The Cast
Who the Hell is:TheGeneralMet him Friday 11/28/2003 when I was out with The Good Dan, Macki, Bev, Jeff, & Missyb. He took Bev home but the other boys showed up at her house and he left. He is a general contractor as you know how I feel about men with "Man Skills". I think I will be cutting him slack for the Bev thing. I can't remember what he looks like right now but I remember telling him that he was cute. I may have been drunk at the time.Anatomically Correct KenMet him when I was out with Linda and the Good Dan on 5/16/2003. I'm keeping this one. Only flaw so far is that he likes sports. Correction...maybe not. 2nd flaw Passive/Aggressive ~tendencies...sex has been good enough to overlook the flaws to date.44 Days I've had enough. Next wait a minute... I am so weak... demoted him to fuck buddy until I spot my next "Soulmate". 100 days...next Soulmate spotted. Correction...next soulmate is an ass back to Ken. Stick a fork in it....pulled the fork out...12/14/03 fork back in...12/30/03 fork out ~ penis in
Mr.NextGorgeous eyes. Lust at first site. Has man skills he says "I am that good" a lot. He's moving in. So far so good but I've been on my best behavior. How long can that last?THE ANSWER IS: 7 DAYS he's moving out. He was not "that good" Mr.Next2Same as Mr.Next above, only with a job. So far so good and I've been on my worst behavior. How long can that last?THE ANSWER IS: 6 DAYS Apparently I am one MEAN BITCH who is destined to die alone.
Good Danwonderful man. Platonic friend now. Handsome, polite, charming, does man things, my Mr. Right. Known him since 1995Scary Danderanged Vietnam vet, very alternative thinker, not normal, scary, been friends over 20 years, no longer doable, does man stuff for me when I don't have one around, once put plastic explosives in a microwave to see if they were thermally stable,More.. Dumbassmet him October 2002, good looking, stupid, decent in bed, alcoholic, likes to party, fun to be around until he gets too drunk. Recently cast into the Non-doable pile...after Vegas or I just may keep him around to play with. My Dumbass Doll... Nope. I think I be sticking a fork in the Dumbass Doll.Internet Guyanswered my Crack Whore Ad on Yahoo, very nice, is separated, handsome, very doable except I am waiting until he at least files for divorce, is a counselor, talks to me on the phone a lot. Cast him aside when I was under the misguided impression that I was in love with the Ken Doll. My bad.NewGuynot Mr. Right, he's Mr. Right Now., tolerable, just starting seeing him, correction barely tolerable, correction history.MissIBM ~ Jeaniepretty, fun to go out with , way smarter than me,techi, 2 kids, works a lot harder than I doMiss KCDrinking bud. We go dancing and hunting together.Malibu ~ Jennifersister, best friend, we share the same birthday - same day-different year, smart, drop dead gorgeous,wonderful, did every thing right, love her, married The Greek God, he came with 4 really good kidsWink ~Wendysister, lives too far away, beautiful , good mom, generous, 2 kids, love herTaz ~Dianasister, nasty- in a Mae West way, funnier then hell, has nice young boyfriend now,2 kids, love her. I can't be around her without laughing my head off.Murtle ~Nancysister, good mom, mother of my favorite niece Mandy, beautiful person,3 kidsBitch Sister ShelleyBitchMetroGirl ~ Darlaballerina, very pretty, fun to go out, has a cool boyfriend, has a tongue ring, has black hair with maroon highlights, very cool.Momlove her. Had a hard life.slightly InsaneGreat Uncle DarrellHog hauler. Cantankerous old goat. He told me when I was 21 years old, "There is not a man stupid enough on the planet to marry you." No longer among the living.Mom at WorkDrives me crazy. Had a hard life like my mom has. Very nice woman.Toddtechie, I transfer all the calls I get from people who piss me off or I dont know the answer to him. We work well together. He always brings cookies and brownies his wife makes, Yum Yum, Hell I would marry her.Nice Truck Guyhounddog from work, Nice truck, platonicThe Other JanetKen's ex-girlfriend. Very pretty & fun to be around.JohnHoplatonic male friend,dance partner, kissyface/pressybody stuff but that's about it, good looking, right brainedHillbillynice guy at bar where my Weenie Wagon is. Married. Says "yu eyeballs is purdy"Franknice guy at bar where my Weenie Wagon is. likes to dance, always smilesBufordnice guy at bar where my Weenie Wagon is. always gives me a hug and a slap on the ass if his wife isn't therePreacher GuyNice guy at bar where my Weenie Wagon is Married. Talks about God a lot. Says "you tempt me".Hummerguy ~ Sugar DaddyOwner of the bar where my Weenie Wagon is. Single, doable, has the lake party place, has 5 count'um 5 Corvettes. He was one of the men who played "FETCH" for me.Tonyaworks for me on the Weene Wagon. hard worker but she is really poor, can eat 4 elephant ears and still not break 100 pounds, I think she may have worms. We drink on the job when it is slow. I am a great boss.Mr. Cleanlast roommate from newspaper ad(not boyfriend). looked like Mr. Clean would cook and clean for me, I called him my House Bitch. liar, user of women Manwhore. owes me money. He recorded himself masturbating on my pc at home. Good for a laugh. I will cut it down and post it on the web for your enjoyment sometime.The Trollplatonic male friend, very smart, sings karaoke really well, fun to be around.The Greek Godmy sister Jennifer's husband, drop dead gorgeous. I told him he should be the next Joe Millionaire but the surprise at the end would be that he is married with 4 childrenWADBrenda's husband, techie, I should quit calling him "Whiney Ass Dan" as we are friends now.BrendaWhiney Ass Dan's wife, has really red hair, petite, very prettyLindaMy across the street neighbor. We went to lots of concerts together after the Good Dan kicked me off the farm. She use to be a stripper. All the male roommates use to ogle her. I am trying to find her a man.Missybpretty blond, a special friend who is hesitant on being special friends.Jonaetvery pretty brunette, special friend with non-doable boyfriend.Elvinbig beautiful black neighbor that just moved in 3 houses down. I crack him up.Oscar&Ruthmy across the ally retired neighbors. I visit with them and drink coffee. Ruth always has cookies.RayCarney folk. Old Indian guy that sells crap...baloons,silly string,beads crap. He's a talker. Lots of opinions.Mr. ThoroughDated for a year, the best ever, we are still friends but he shuns my sexual advances, although I feel him weakening. I have faith that he will eventually succumb as I can be mighty persistent in my endevors...Its nice to ShareCalebplatonic friend, techie, encourages me to kiss other women, very young and studly. We get along.Mr.Sta-ndmeupyetagainfriend for long time, bartender at bar Jen & I went to during our "fuck men" days so he knows how I am. He is kind of a loner but I like him. fuck buddy for now.correction platonic friend. correction ass correction special friend correction ass correction, my bad special friend correction platonic friend I mean it this time....we'll see I've had ENOUGH... Maybe... Asswipe Markloser, alcoholic, lived with me until he yelled at Jen to clean up the house, owes me money, user of women. Ran out of supplies once and sent him to the store, my 12 year old niece says four hours later, "we are out of pop, where is Mark? He is pretty irresponsible." yup. I can sure pickum. I don't have any power tools anymore as Asswipe had taken all of them to a pawn shop to support his "cigarette and beer" habit becase he was alergic to actual work. Ran into him a couple of months ago gambling at a 21 table. He calls me the next day and want to pay me $10000 to make a "porn" web site for him. I say "tell you what. Why don't you pay me the $5000 you owe me first and then we will discuss the web site". Haven't heard from him since. loser. Even the slightest memorance of him pisses me off.Steve the WeirdoDated him when I was 19 - 23, we had an open relationship, he was a weirdoMore.. Mr. (Jack) Meofflived with him for 6 months, Sargent Major in the marines, lots of good sex. Was jealous of Scary Dan for no reason. He told me I would never recover financially after he was done with me. Maybe it is something in my vagina that turns men into assholes after they dip their stick in it. I recovered financially. Hit the road Jack.My LawyerKnown since I was 19. Old drinking bud. We worked together for several years at the horse race track. He is 4 years older then I and a hottie. He loved working with my Grandpa. He is also Scary Dans, Jeanie, and my sister Nancy's lawyer.
What the Hell isCrap~O~RamaI don't buy Christmas gifts. What I do is gather all the crap around my house, gifts that I received that are crap, leftover roommate crap, broken phones, then we play trivia to see who gets what crap. The kids have a blast, and it costs me practically nothing. One of the boys said last year "thank you Aunt Janet for all the crap", and the year before he was so excited he said "I'm going to try to win as much crap as I possibly can". Yup, the kiddies love me but I'm not too into children .. just can't understand them and they look at me weird when I tell them to enunciate betterWeene Wagon8 by 14 foot concession trailer that I run in the summer. Has cotton candy, popcorn, sno-cones, hotdogs, keeps me out of trouble and gives me walking around cash. PictureWhere the Hell isHellThe farm where the Good Dan lives. Spent 5 years there. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't gone 90% of the time. Very lonely in Hell. Would have never moved out there if I would have known he was going to weasel out of marring me.The Ranking system
|