My Great Uncle Darrell
My Great Uncle Darrel the hog hauler, onery old coot, and Grandpa
My sister Nancy and I went with Grandpa to visit him when I was in my early 20s. Nancy and I knocked on Uncle Darrell's door and told him that we had a flat tire and would he fix it for us. As he is putting on his boots he grumbles "goddamn women, shouldn't be driving a goddamn vehicle if they don't know how to change a goddamn tire". He saw Grandpa when he came out then said "I recognize these two little pig fuckers, I keep pictures of them around the house to keep away the rats". We borrowed his car and every car that went passed flipped us off thinking it was him. People would send their kids "go kick that old man". We went out to dinner and the waitress dumps a pitcher of ice water over his head and says "that's for the last time you were in here". He just kept on reading the menu like nothing happened. He called me the "Stupid One" and Nancy the "Fat One" (she was pregnant at the time). Great Uncle Darrell told me that he would "crawl from Ladora, Iowa to Washington State on his hands and knees if I ever got married because he did not believe there is a man stupid enough on the planet to marry me". Apparently he was correct on that point.
Yup, Dad's side of the family is onery & hysterical and my Mom's side is insane.
To me, I seem normal.