Clinically Insane and they still let me drive.
My neighbor Linda came over last night so we sat on the front porch and drank a few of her beers as I did not have any. She was upset because she may be getting laid off next month. I was suppose to be getting stuff ready for this weekend but drinking my neighbor's beer seemed to be the better option. Elvin was out watering his lawn so he came over and talked to us. He told me I was a Dingdong... since he is black, I am assuming it is a slang compliment like phat. Am I right?
Since I didn't get anything done that I was suppose to last night, I got up at 5 and did it. I hauled the Weenie Wagon up to the rodeo grounds about 30 miles north. Didn't hit anything again. I was so proud of myself, I stopped and got myself an expresso, I'm fighting osteoporosis one triple latte at a time. I have tomorrow off so I all I need to do is make cotton candy and buy ice the rodeo doesn't start until 7pm so I get to play most of the day Friday. Stopped at Wal-mart on the way back to exchange an empty propane tank. 45 fucking minutes it took. Screwed up my morning. Didn't get to rollerblade. They couldn't find the key to unlock the tanks. I told them "ya know Wal-mart can make extra keys and they have those color coded thingies". I didn't get bitchie at them, they were just working stiffs and the lady who was suppose to have the key reminded me of my mom and I wouldn't want anyone yelling at her.
The dress that I wanted to wear today was ripped so I had to sew it up. I think I did pretty well for someone who flunked homeick. My highschool homeick teacher told me "I can't believe you and Shelley are sisters. She is so adept at this and you, you try really hard but you just can't seem to get it". My Bitch Sister Shelley was her pet. I hate her. Shelley wont let Mom see her kids. Sends the presents Mom buys back to her. Doesn't spend Thanksgiving or Christmas with us. Her kids barely know us which is really sad. Nancy and Shelly live in small towns close to each other and their children go to the same school, they really hate each other. One time I went to a basketball game that my favorite niece was in and Shelley and her family were there. Shelley's son, a 5th or 6th grader, was sitting next to me and I told him, "you know if you ever run away, it's my house that you'll be running to". He grinned from ear to ear. Shelley said, "I don't want you talking to my children". Got to give her points for that. Good parents keep their children away from me.
Cash is for Amateurs
~ Oddly Enough ~
And as much as I wanted to deck her in the face right then and there I held my composure
~ unordinary-1 ~
What were you thinking? That somehow, your pee was magically not going to show the coke?
~ Lorster ~
How can I stay attracted/commited to someone with the personality of a slug?
~ Almostaflake ~
If someone told me when I was a teenager that I'd be working in a job that did not require me to strangle myself slowly to death with a tie everyday, and make ( undisclosed figure ), and still tread the broke ass water mark, I would have thrown my own feces at their head.
~ Spanklin ~
People are cracking me up today.
My neighbor Oscar finally got tired of people hitting his garage. I've hit it before and had to have one of the Dans fix it but he had just fixed it a couple weeks ago after his next door neighbor moved and hit his garage and low and behold it was hit again. Wasn't me this time though. Hit a run. He put a pipe at the corner of his garage and filled it with concrete then painted it white. Someone is going to get their bumper taken out next time they run into his garage. I'll make a note of it.
Stories from the Lost Decade: When I was living with Steve the Weirdo I was driving at night and I got lost. It was the middle of winter and I had gone down this really steep hill. There wasn't a place to turn around and I couldn't back up the hill but I saw a road bed that it looked like I could "Dukes of Hazard" take a run an jump onto. Well I did that, however, it wasn't a roadbed it was railroad tracks and there was a decent sized cliff which surely would have been the end of me had I not high centered my car on the tracks. Now I sitting in my car, my wheels are touching "NOTHING" so I'm not moving and here comes a train. I turn on my flashers and jump out of my car as I hear the train screaching to a halt. The engineer said "I knew it was a woman".
Yes, this is funny asswipe
Of course the police come and say "Have you been drinking?"
No sir, it interfers with my medication.
They go through my purse and find the "pyscho" prescriptions and conclude that it was a suicide attempt.
I see the sparks fly when the tow truck drags my car off the tracks and the train again moves after a two hour delay. I'm telling the police that
If I were going to commit suicide I wouldn't wreck my car for Christ's sake
Apparently that logic convinced them. I didn't even get a ticket but it kind of screwed up the underside of my car but no matter... I totaled it a few months later. I am the worst driver in the world...please tell you children not to run in front of my car.
Later kids,