Code of Business Conduct
We have to take a Code of Business Conduct at work today.. but all is not lost, I have found a loophole.
Being under the influence of alcohol while working is prohibited. However, consuming alcohol during work hours or after-hours at an *****-sponsored or client-sponsored event, regardless of location, is permissible provided the event has senior leadership approval and proper business decorum is maintained.
I'm telling my manager at my next performance review that if he wants me to be nicer to the customers there better be a bloody mary on my desk in the morning. I'm nicer when I'm drinking, way nicer.