Losing Control

Is / Was

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November 01, 2003 - -

Wax your own carrot you crazy wabbit

Saturday

Land in Vegas at noon, by 3:00pm I am drinking coffee trying to sober up. I gave Dumbass $100 when he & Pete picked me up from the airport. Between these two fine adults (and I am using the term adults lightly) they didn't have $5 between them. When he called on Thursday he said he had $47 dollars left, he had spent all the money he had saved up for the first day and had to have his mother wire him more.

Of course I had to stop by the liqueur store and get some Black Velvet for Dumbass and Vodka for Pete and me. After sufficiently liquored up, we go to the Palace station and play 21. Anyway, after I'm out of my alloted daily amount to lose and I had left the rest of my money in the hotel room. Pete comes up to me and says Dumbass lost all of his money and left hours ago and he can't get a hold of him.

What? Did you try calling him?

He turned off his phone. Great, now we get to spend money on a cab back to the room 8 miles away.
Fucking Dumbass.

Apparently the cabs in Vegas do not take American Express. Feel free to leave home without it.

All righty then. Pete and I decide to walk down to the strip one or two miles away. Luckily I was not wearing my slut dress that I just bought in Kansas and heels. On the way we decided to stop in to a strip club to see if I could get some money out of my card for a cab. I don't have a pin number for it for gambling problem reasons.

Strip club did not take American Express either but there was a guy, I think he was in his mid 30s, listening to me explain our predicament to the bartender and he not only offered to buy Pete and me drinks but, get this, he bought both of us 2 lap dances.

Now that is way beyond being neighborly I think I'm not sure how much 4 lap dances cost but both of the girls knew we didn't have any money to tip but they didn't seem to be holding back none. We liked the blond the best. The other one had school teacher glasses on, didn't do anything for us, she was very nice though, but the blond, oh Lordy Lordy.

I was thinking that the school teacher glasses one was this guys girlfriend but when he went to get his lap dance a different girl went too so I'm just thinking this guy has got a awful lot of money to throw around what with buying complete strangers lap dances and all.

He drives us to the hotel and being polite we invite him up for a drink. Well we all are just sitting on the couch parting, harmless and Dumbass gets up and starts ranting and raving,

"who's this guy?" Screaming and waving his arms around in his underware, bed hair, he fucking went nuts.

And me without a tranquilizer dart to throw at him

This guy is so nice, he apologizes and thanks us for the drink and leaves. I go in the bedroom and crawl into bed. Dumbass says he is sorry and now wants to have sex so I am getting lots of Special Treats.

Now you would think that if you're in Vegas and you have a naked woman in your bed who is nicely buzzed and had just gotten, not one, but TWO lap dances and you've been apologizing and being all nice and shit by going on down and making her come on your face and even went so far and did a little butt licking that you would be getting some.

You would be wrong. You do not strand friends 8 miles away with no money and an American Express in Vegas. No reason I should have to go without sex because Dumbass is a jerk. Blissfully content, I had no longer any use of him so I rolled over and said.

DUMBASS

spanky
Oh snap. The 68 and I'll owe ya one. I hope herb dorklick at least could take comfort in that he had coitus juice on his chin. Still, that was very naughty, and you deserve a paddling.
-------------------------------
boardho
Yes, yes I do.
-------------------------------
Magic Whiskey
You COULD have a left nut if you find a sharp pair of scissors.
-------------------------------
boardho
Or an axe. I'm into axes. Dumbass better keep his left nut away from my axe.
-------------------------------
Magic Whiskey
I think an axe would be far too messy. Remember the cleanup is up to you!
-------------------------------

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November 01, 2003
Wax your own carrot you crazy wabbit

Saturday

Land in Vegas at noon, by 3:00pm I am drinking coffee trying to sober up. I gave Dumbass $100 when he & Pete picked me up from the airport. Between these two fine adults (and I am using the term adults lightly) they didn't have $5 between them. When he called on Thursday he said he had $47 dollars left, he had spent all the money he had saved up for the first day and had to have his mother wire him more.

Of course I had to stop by the liqueur store and get some Black Velvet for Dumbass and Vodka for Pete and me. After sufficiently liquored up, we go to the Palace station and play 21. Anyway, after I'm out of my alloted daily amount to lose and I had left the rest of my money in the hotel room. Pete comes up to me and says Dumbass lost all of his money and left hours ago and he can't get a hold of him.

What? Did you try calling him?

He turned off his phone. Great, now we get to spend money on a cab back to the room 8 miles away.
Fucking Dumbass.

Apparently the cabs in Vegas do not take American Express. Feel free to leave home without it.

All righty then. Pete and I decide to walk down to the strip one or two miles away. Luckily I was not wearing my slut dress that I just bought in Kansas and heels. On the way we decided to stop in to a strip club to see if I could get some money out of my card for a cab. I don't have a pin number for it for gambling problem reasons.

Strip club did not take American Express either but there was a guy, I think he was in his mid 30s, listening to me explain our predicament to the bartender and he not only offered to buy Pete and me drinks but, get this, he bought both of us 2 lap dances.

Now that is way beyond being neighborly I think I'm not sure how much 4 lap dances cost but both of the girls knew we didn't have any money to tip but they didn't seem to be holding back none. We liked the blond the best. The other one had school teacher glasses on, didn't do anything for us, she was very nice though, but the blond, oh Lordy Lordy.

I was thinking that the school teacher glasses one was this guys girlfriend but when he went to get his lap dance a different girl went too so I'm just thinking this guy has got a awful lot of money to throw around what with buying complete strangers lap dances and all.

He drives us to the hotel and being polite we invite him up for a drink. Well we all are just sitting on the couch parting, harmless and Dumbass gets up and starts ranting and raving,

"who's this guy?" Screaming and waving his arms around in his underware, bed hair, he fucking went nuts.

And me without a tranquilizer dart to throw at him

This guy is so nice, he apologizes and thanks us for the drink and leaves. I go in the bedroom and crawl into bed. Dumbass says he is sorry and now wants to have sex so I am getting lots of Special Treats.

Now you would think that if you're in Vegas and you have a naked woman in your bed who is nicely buzzed and had just gotten, not one, but TWO lap dances and you've been apologizing and being all nice and shit by going on down and making her come on your face and even went so far and did a little butt licking that you would be getting some.

You would be wrong. You do not strand friends 8 miles away with no money and an American Express in Vegas. No reason I should have to go without sex because Dumbass is a jerk. Blissfully content, I had no longer any use of him so I rolled over and said.

DUMBASS

spanky
Oh snap. The 68 and I'll owe ya one. I hope herb dorklick at least could take comfort in that he had coitus juice on his chin. Still, that was very naughty, and you deserve a paddling.
-------------------------------
boardho
Yes, yes I do.
-------------------------------
Magic Whiskey
You COULD have a left nut if you find a sharp pair of scissors.
-------------------------------
boardho
Or an axe. I'm into axes. Dumbass better keep his left nut away from my axe.
-------------------------------
Magic Whiskey
I think an axe would be far too messy. Remember the cleanup is up to you!
-------------------------------